The history of Valentine’s Day is, like a few of our jokes, a little sketchy.
St Valentine himself is generally traced back to the time of Roman Emperor Claudius II,
where
it’s said that he was imprisoned for protecting persecuted Christians. Another popular
legend
says he was caught performing secret marriages for soldiers, which, you’ve got to admit,
makes a
bit more sense given how we celebrate things these days.
European folk traditions used to link St. Valentine with the beginning of spring, and the
custom
of sending cards, flowers, and gifts began. Over time, the day became more and more
associated
with romantic love, until we got the multi-billion dollar holiday we have today. Oh, ain’t
love
grand?
We’re kidding, of course – any excuse to celebrate a loved one is a bloody good excuse, as
far
as we’re concerned. And hey, if February 14th isn’t your vibe, all our Valentine’s Day cards
make for great Steak and Blowjob Day (March 14th) and Cake and Cunnilingus Day (April 14th)
cards too!
Why buy your Valentine’s Day card from Spicy Baboon?
You already know we’re going out of our way to make your special someone laugh (you’re
welcome), but why else should you choose Spicy Baboon for your Valentine’s Day cards?
We use high quality materials for all our products
Our Valentine’s Day cards are printed using quality-graded paper and inks. This means
our cards are not only hilarious but look good and make for fantastic (if occasionally
rather cheeky) mementos.
We’re excellent value for money
We’ve spent a lot of time honing our manufacturing processes and building great
relationships with our suppliers, so you’re guaranteed great quality, value for money,
and comedy gold!
We’re an Australian company
Supporting Aussie businesses is more important than ever these days. Choosing to shop
with Spicy Baboon means you’re backing a 100% Australian business, with Aussie
designers, Aussie printers, and an Aussie HQ, right here in sunny Brisbane!
Did we mention we’re funny?
Not to toot our own horn but… toot toot!
Valentine’s Day cards for him
Here’s some of our picks for Valentine’s Cards that’ll have the man in your life not only
roaring with laughter, but reassessing who the funny one in the relationship is.
Spoiler: it’s YOU!
Keanu Breathtaking card
Now, let’s be honest. There’s one person your man loves more than you. And, if you’re
being doubly honest, there’s one person you love more than your man. That person is
Keanu Reeves. And there’s no better way to take his breath away than with this card
featuring the love of everyone’s lives.
Hunk of Spunk card
If he’s the Kel to your Kath, let that purveyor of fine meats (*wink wink*) know with
this Hunk of Spunk card! You’ll be making your beautiful, sensual relationship a mere
formality in no time!
I Choo Choo Choose You card
We’ve been on the apps, alright. We know a man’s profile isn’t complete without a
Simpsons quote or five. If you’ve got a man who acts like Springfield’s favourite family
is actually his own, then he’ll love this reference to Season 4, Episode 15. And even if
he doesn’t like The Simpsons (and had to Google that episode like we did), it’s still
pretty stinking cute.
I Love You For Your Character 3D
Card – yeah, we know, you love everything about them. He’s sweet, thoughtful, strong,
funny… but that d*ck though? Show him just how much you love (a very specific part of)
him, with this popup eggplant card. Just don’t let him get too close. Unless he’s into
that, of course.
Endless Never Gonna Give You Up Prank card
If your other half is anything like you, he’s probably already eyed up the Spicy Baboon
range ahead of Valentine’s Day. Beat him to the punch and Rick Roll that sneaky S.O.B.
with our Endless Never Gonna Give You Up card. Once activated, our lord and saviour Rick
Astley will sing his greatest hit on a loop for HOURS. But that’s not all – if hubby
tries to stop him, the card’s secret weapon activates: GLITTER!
Valentine’s Day cards for her
Well, who’d have thought that that drunken swiping session, torrent of d*ck pics, and “u
up?” texts would have brought you here, hey? Let your lady love know you’re grateful she
picked you out of the heinous line-up that is Tinder (or any dating app, for that
matter) with this Swipe Right card. Be honest, mate, we all know who settled for who.
Swipe Right card
Did we already mention this? Our Valentine’s Day gifts for him are designed to be funny,
and to give your man a much-needed chuckle. We achieve this by locking our marketing
baboons in a room and not letting them out until they have at least 20 new designs that
make us laugh. Don’t worry, they get paid handsomely for this.
Baby Yoda Love card
Alright, we know that’s not technically his name, but the little guy wormed his way into
just about everyone’s hearts – including your better half’s. Show your hot nerd
girlfriend you care with a geeky pun and who knows? That Princess Leia fantasy might
become reality after all…
Naughty Bear 3D card
Turns out our 3D cards aren’t the only things that pop-up! Our Naughty Bear is guaranteed
to put a smile on your significant other’s face, with his big smile, big heart, and big…
well. Oh, and don’t worry about closing the card when you’re ready for your Valentine’s
reward. Naughty Bear likes to watch.
I Long For Your Bottom card
Make the most of Matthew Lewis’ glow-up and remind your partner that she’s not just any
witch, she’s THE witch. She’ll happily let you Slyther-in to her Chamber of Secrets when
you give her our magical I Long For Your Bottom card! (For legal purposes, we have to
state that this card doesn’t actually have magical powers. Sorry.)
Your Package Has Arrived 3D card
Oh, you thought the pop-up fun was over with Naughty Bear? Not a chance! Make your
intentions perfectly clear and gift your girl a card that comes cocked and loaded with a
rather adult surprise. Give her what she really wants this year – a reliable erection.
We’re more than just Valentine’s Day Cards too!
If you thought the only things we were good at were printing funny pictures and putting
those funny pictures into little envelopes, you’d be absolutely dead wrong!
We’ve got a fantastic collection of clothing, mugs, puzzles, soaps, stickers, and MORE
that can all be used to express your love the Spicy Baboon way. And, just like our
cards, we’ve put a lot of time and effort into making sure they’re of a very high
quality for our ever-so discerning customers.
Some of our favourites include:
One-Eyed Bubble Shooter bath bomb
This phallic bath bomb smells better than it looks, we promise you that!
Touch Your Butt mug
For when your mouth says, “I love you”, and your brain says, “I want to touch your
butt”. One of a selection of items we can personalise for both you and the butt you’re
touching.
Red Minky soap
The Notorious V.A.G. soap! Looks saucy, smells delicious.
You’re My Lobster t-shirt
Share the love in the most iconic 90s kind of way. Available in men’s and women’s cuts,
in a range of sizes and colours.
Big Barry jigsaw puzzle
Looking for something to do together on Valentine’s Day? Look no further than this
uncensored tribute to one of the pandy’s biggest (pun intended) memes.
